- Youssouf Hadji of recently relegated Bastia is on his way. Don't get him confused with that other Hadji who played for Villa, was rubbish and had dubious facial hair - although it is his brother, hopefully he hasn't picked up anything from him.
- David Unsworth is moving to Wigan for £250,000 once the local pie factory can get the staff.
- Modeste M'Bami of Paris Saint-Germain hasn't been linked to us... yet. But as a young player in the French leagues who has just issued a "come and get me" plea to any English club, it's only a matter of time. If you ignore the fact Manchester United, Arsenal and Liverpool are interested.
And so what of this "parp parp" business to which I refer in the title? Well, let me point you to a Fratton Faithful column from yesterday, which contained the section "you heard it here first";
"Joos Valgaeren of Celtic... Tomas Danilevicius of Livorno. Just you wait, they'll be on the back page of that un-named Hilsea based newspaper tomorrow"
Alright, so it wasn't quite the back page, but on page 66 of this evening's edition;
"New names are bring (sic) thrown into the hat every day as pundits put forward the potential new recruits to the Alain Perrin revolution... Belgian centre-half Joos Valgaeren... also being linked with a move to Fratton is striker Tomas Danilevicius."
Snigger. It's almost tempting to start another rumour just to see if it gets picked up, but I fear I'd be distracting important column inches from another article on why Smertin might be joining us. (For those of you who don't live in the area, "The News" are now reporting that the move might be back on. You might remember that on Thursday night it was definitely off, and on Tuesday it was on again).