Ricardo Fuller
He's completed his £90,000 move to Southampton with the fee rising to £250,000 if they get promoted (that'll be £90,000, then). Quite how he passed his medical we'll never know but then again this is a club who willingly employed Delgado so I guess it was to be expected.
Damien Francis
The saga that goes on and on and on. Alain Perrin was on "The Quay" yesterday and said that he was interested in Francis, whilst Nigel Worthington was on "Sky Sports News" and said that they'd turned down a bid from us on Monday which wasn't high enough. This of course is different to what Peter Storrie said, who claimed we hadn't made a bid at all. And different to what his agent said, who claimed his client was all but set to join. Surprise surprise that Charlton are now interested too but it looks to me like he's destined not to join - if we really wanted him we would've gone out and got him by now.
Collins Mbesuma
As everyone knows, he got his work permit. According to the club there's some "paperwork to be done" - the old cover all excuse - and he should join up with the squad next week. No terrorising of Inter on Sunday then, sadly.
Abdeslam Ouaddou
Former Fulham defender now playing for Rennes, despite being in the last year of his contract his club want £3.5m for him. He's not a bad player but he's certainly not worth that much. Anderlecht, Mallorca and Tottenham "LET'S BID FOR EVERYONE!" Hotspur are also reportedly interested in securing his services.
Paul Scholes
Oh yes! One of the most hilarious rumours of the summer has made an unexpected comeback.
Shaka Hislop
Our former stopper has rejoined West Ham on a free transfer, presumably firstly as cover for Roy Carroll. But no doubt when Carroll makes a hilarious string of errors it'll fall to Shaka to come in and steady the ship, so best of luck to him back at Upton Park.