Anyway that's enough gabber, here are the winners (and losers):
Pompey Player Of The Season: Gary O'Neil (31 votes)
No suprises here. "Gary'O" has been Mr.Consistant all season scoring plenty of vital goals and running his arse off for the cause. I think he should have been in the England stand-by list ahead of Nigel Reo-Coker and Phil Neville but what does Sven know eh? It's a well deserved award and he could possibly be even more effective if played in the centre next season. Cut above the rest!
Matthew Taylor and Brian Priske were the only two other players who were voted for. Both had solid seasons especially the former who is actually the top scoring left back in the league. Both made some crucial mistakes though whereas I can't think of a single one Gary made.
Full Results
Gary O'Neil (31 votes)
Matthew Taylor (2 votes)
Brian Priske (1 vote)
Worst Pompey Player Of The Season: Laurent Robert (13 votes)
Much was expected of the "talented" frenchman when he signed for Pompey, raising everyones expectations pre-season of a decent finish that he predicted himself. So one goal in his time here isn't a good return for someone who spent more time sulking, wasting set-pieces, with the "misunderstanding" at Sunderland and lack of effort seemed to be the final straw between him and the Pompey fans. Very much an overhyped waste of space on the whole.
Gregory Vignal took second place for his general lack of ability. Vignal has now joined RC Lens of France and I don't think he will be missed. Hapless Sander Westerveld took Bronze for being dodgy in pretty much every game he played for us and for that he got my vote.
Full Results
Laurent Robert (13 votes)
Gregory Vignal (5 votes)
Sander Westerveld (4 votes)
Dejan Stefanovic (2 votes)
Giannis Skopelitis (2 votes)
Ivica Mornar (2 votes)
Zvonomir Vukic (2 votes)
Salif Diao (1 vote)
Azar Karadas (1 vote)
Signing Of The Season: Pedro Mendes (25 votes)
Mendes won this by a landslide despite only playing half the season. It took him a while to get back to full fitness and when he did he really showed his class on the pitch as a holding midfielder with an excellent range of passing and a good tackle too. Oh yeah, his shot isn't half bad either.
Andres D'Alessandro was second to Mendes but he also had a major impact on the team with his flair and his ability to beat defenders. A great entertainer here's hoping he signs on a permanent deal soon. I actually voted for Brian Priske however because he was here from the start of the season and was a cut above the rest of our defence.
Full Results
Pedro Mendes (24 votes)
Andres D'Alessandro (6 votes)
Brian Priske (2 votes)
Dean Kiely (1 vote)
Worst Signing Of The Season: Collins Mbesuma (15 votes)
Another player who promised much having had a great record for Kaizer Chiefs and so was hyped to be the next big thing. How we can now all laugh at him for his statement of "I want to play for Manchester United" now considering he hardly ever played for us because of "lack of fitness". "Suma MBE" is likely to be let go in the summer.
Second place is a tie between Gregory Vignal and Laurent Robert, both also unsuprisingly tallying many votes for "Worst Player" too. My personal vote went to Emanuel Olisadebe for only playing 25 minutes against Everton only to never play for us again. Laughable!
Full Results
Collins Mbesuma (15 votes)
Gregory Vignal (6 votes)
Laurent Robert (6 votes)
Emanuel Olisadebe (2 votes)
Sander Westerveld (2 votes)
Azar Karadas (1 vote)
John Viafara (1 vote)
Zvonomir Vukic (1 vote)
Pompey Goal Of The Season: Taylor (2nd) vs Sunderland (A) (15 votes)
A great goal to round off a great win at the Stadium Of Light. Matty Taylor recieves the ball from about 45 yards and spots Kelvin Davis off his line and so from an angle proceeds to chip him from that distance to hit the top corner of the net as delerious Pompey fans looked on in amazement! This goal narrowly edged out Pedro Mendes' second goal against Man City which not only was well taken but oh so important in our bid for survival!
Other candidates included Mendes' screamer against West Ham (arguably of better quality than the City winner), D'Alessandro's brilliant solo effort against Charlton, Lua Lua's exquisite curler against Aston Villa and... err.. Benjani's one yard header against Wigan... (Yes, I don't understand that one either!)
Full Results
Taylor (2nd) vs Sunderland (A) (15 votes)
Mendes (2nd) vs Man City (H) (13 votes)
Mendes vs West Ham (A) (2 votes)
D'Alessandro vs Charlton (A) (1 vote)
Lua Lua vs Aston Villa (H) (1 vote)
Benjani vs Wigan (A) (1 vote)
Pompey Miss Of The Season: Todorov vs Wigan (A) (12 votes)
Clear winner here and although I can think of worse misses this one probably sticks out the most probably because of the magnitude of the game. A cross comes in from the right straight to Toddy who is two yards out and somehow he manages to put it over the bar! If we hadn't have won this game we could all still be rueing that miss right now. Thankfully Benjani and Taylor would spare Toddy's blushes but it was still a glaring miss!
Second to that is Benjani's strike against Blackburn at home. No more than six yards out, centre of the box with all the time in the world to get your first goal for the club and he hits it straight at Brad Friedel! My vote went to Sean Davis vs Fulham away. Go on son, there's the ball now go and stick it in the back of the net against your former club and give us the lead again from all of two yards out! ...Or you could slice it over the bar of course...
Full Results
Todorov vs Wigan (A) (12 votes)
Benjani vs Blackburn (H) (4 votes)
Davis vs Fulham (A) (3 votes)
Vukic vs Newcastle (H) (2 votes)
Todorov vs Sunderland (H) (2 votes)
Skopelitis vs West Brom (A) (2 votes)
O'Neil vs Aston Villa (H) (1 vote)
O'Neil vs Birmingham (H) (1 vote)
Pompey Save Of The Season: Kiely vs Camara (A) (11 votes)
Excellent save in a crucial game. Henri Camara is put through one on one with Deano and I already had thought forward to Wigan taking the lead at the JJB stadium! But no, Kiely managed to get his body in the way and preserve our clean sheet for a little longer until Camara did break the deadlock later on. The signing of Deano can't be under-estimated, he really seemed to help team spirit off the pitch as well as make other crucial saves on it.
Kiely also takes second and third place for his outstanding block against Steven Gerrard on the final day after Gerrard powered his way through the defence only to see his shot saved with Deano's foot. Third place goes to any one of his saves against Newcastle at St. James' Park where he kept the score respectable. There were also some comedy votes for this award if you look below!
Full Results
Kiely vs Camara (A) (11 votes)
Kiely vs Gerrard (H) (4 votes)
Kiely vs Newcastle (A) (3 votes)
Kiely vs Lampard (A) (1 vote)
Kiely vs Yakubu (H) (1 vote)
Ashdown vs Beattie (A) (1 vote)
Diomansy Kamara's Wages (1 vote)
Sacha Gaydamak's Investment (1 vote)
Mandaric's Wallet in the Summer (1 vote)
Hughes' last ditch tackle on Chimbonda (1 vote)
Ourselves from Relegation (1 vote)
Pompey Gaffe Of The Season: TIE - Ashdown OG vs Gillingham/Selling Arjan De Zeeuw (6 votes each)
Let's start with Ashdown. This own goal will go down as one of the funniest Pompey have ever scored no doubt. Darren Byfield strikes the post as Ashdown dives for the ball, the ball rebounds off the post, hits his back and then goes in. Very embarassing, almost as embarassing as the result itself! Selling Arjan De Zeeuw was also a terrible mistake by Alain Perrin as he went on to be a stalwart in the Wigan defence whilst we shipped goals left, right and centre.
There were quite a few others too including Griffin's failure to mark Baros, the whole Birmingham game away from home, Westerveld's awful blunder against West Brom and Griffin's own goal against Spurs among others.
Full Results
Ashdown OG vs Gillingham (6 votes)
Selling Arjan De Zeeuw (6 votes)
Birmingham Performance (A) (2 votes)
Griffin OG vs Spurs (H) (2 votes)
Westerveld vs West Brom (A) (2 votes)
Griffin failing to mark Baros for easy header (2 votes)
Perrin signings (2 votes)
Tannoy announcing George Best was born in Dublin (1 vote)
Cisse and Diao "Partnership" (1 vote)
Songo'o slicing a cross into Fratton End (1 vote)
Alain Perrin's tenure this season (1 vote)
Stadium Delay (again) (1 vote)
Robert rocketing free kick in last minute vs Blackburn (A) (1 vote)
Losing to Charlton despite being so comfortable (A) (1 vote)
Moment Of The Season: Mendes Last Gasp Winner vs Man City (15 votes)
Predictably this award was either going to this one or the final whistle at Wigan. The impact of this goal is still being felt in the West Midlands now such was the importance of this goal. It was supposed to be all over when Richard Dunne headed in a late equaliser but ten seconds from time Mendes hit his second rocket of the game to change the entire complexion of the relegation battle and spark an amazing run to survival in the moment where Fratton Park went crazy!
Obviously second place falls to the final whistle at Wigan and the few minutes after that when it was confirmed that Birmingham drew 0-0 with Newcastle to send Pompey fans into mass celebration. The surreal scenes at the JJB Stadium will never be forgotten by any Pompey fan who was there. Fantastic moment!
Full Results
Mendes Last Gasp Winner vs Man City (15 votes)
Great Escape Celebration At Wigan (14 votes)
Pasting Sunderland on their own ground (1 vote)
Winning at Fulham to make it 3 in a row (1 vote)
Worst Moment Of The Season: Birmingham 5 Portsmouth 0 (15 votes)
Runaway winner of this dubious award. It doesn't get much worse than getting absolutely hammered by your relegation rivals does it? No amount of alchohol could possibly take the pain away from this hurtful defeat.
Villa away was also a depressing moment because of how awful we were. Even the most optimistic Pompey fan must have had all hopes of Premiership survival depleted after that game. Losing to Wigan 2-0 at home also ranks up there with the most awful results ever at Fratton Park.
Full Results
Birmingham 5 Pompey 0 (15 votes)
Aston Villa 1 Pompey 0 (6 votes)
Pompey 0 Wigan 2 (5 votes)
Charlton 2 Pompey 1 (2 votes)
Sunderland going 1-0 up at Fratton Park (2 votes)
Pompey 0 Everton 1 (1 vote)
Gillingham 3 Pompey 2 (1 vote)
First 3/4 of the season (1 vote)
Performance Of The Season: West Ham 2 Pompey 4 (11 votes)
An excellent all round performance at Upton Park. The Hammers might have fielded a couple of reserve players but we still had to go there and win and we did it in some style. 3-0 up at half time and Pompey fans were in dreamland as our team had practically dominated the first 45 minutes. 4-2 it finished but that score might even flatter West Ham. We were great that day as the Pompey ball started to roll faster.
The runners up were the performance at Wigan, mainly the second half because we were pretty poor in the first but we came out all guns blazing after the break and deserved to win and the game at Craven Cottage also reaped three points as we won quite comfortably in the end. Strangely enough, the 4-1 win at Sunderland didn't get any votes!
Full Results
West Ham 2 Pompey 4 (11 votes)
Wigan 1 Pompey 2 (6 votes)
Fulham 1 Pompey 3 (6 votes)
Pompey 2 Man City 1 (2 votes)
Everton 0 Pompey 1 (1 vote)
Pompey 1 Arsenal 1 (1 vote)
Pompey 2 Sunderland 1 (1 vote)
Pompey 2 Blackburn 2 (1 vote)
Charlton 2 Pompey 1 (1 vote)
Most Exciting Game Of The Season: West Ham 2 Pompey 4 (11 votes)
The same winner again with the same amount of votes too! Although it wasn't a "thriller" as such for the neutral because the game was virtually over at half time it still had six goals and I'm sure every single Pompey fan would have loved every minute of it! (Or if you want to be a smartarse, exclude two of the minutes when West Ham actually scored).
The Wigan game at the JJB again takes runners up spot purely just for the tension involved in the game. Still a cracker by all means especially as there was so much at stake for us though my personal winner would be the game at Craven Cottage. The game had everything. Early goal, stunning quick equaliser, plenty of fight, decent attacking football, not so decent defending, sitters missed by both sides, deflected goal, crunching tackles including a sending off and of course, we won!
Full Results
West Ham 2 Pompey 4 (11 votes)
Wigan 1 Pompey 2 (9 votes)
Fulham 1 Pompey 3 (4 votes)
Pompey 2 Man City 1 (4 votes)
Pompey 2 Blackburn 2 (2 votes)
Sunderland 1 Pompey 4 (2 votes)
Pompey 2 Sunderland 1 (1 vote)
Most Boring Game Of The Season: Pompey 0 Wigan 2 (8 votes)
There were plenty of yawnfests this season, the majority under Alain Perrin it has to be said but none come more boring than a 2-0 defeat to "Little Wiggin" who lapped up every minute of this game as they strolled to an easy victory where Pompey only had one attack of note coming from Dario Silva early on. This game was in stark contrast to the game at their place so let's hope that next seasons game at Fratton is much better this time!
The silver medal goes to Everon who nicked a jammy win at Fratton Park despite hardly attacking all game. Our new players needed time to gain fitness/settle in in this drab affair. There would be many more boring games to choose from too as the list below suggests though my vote went for the Villa game away from home. No quality, no effort, no fight, no atmosphere, nothing from either side and we lost.
Full Results
Pompey 0 Wigan 2 (8 votes)
Pompey 0 Everton 1 (5 votes)
Aston Villa 1 Pompey 0 (3 votes)
Pompey 1 Birmingham 1 (3 votes)
Pompey 1 West Ham 1 (2 votes)
West Brom 2 Pompey 1 (1 vote)
Birmingham 5 Pompey 0 (1 vote)
Pompey 0 Newcastle 0 (1 vote)
Liverpool 3 Pompey 0 (1 vote)
Pompey 1 West Brom 0 (1 vote)
Pompey 1 Middlesbrough 0 (1 vote)
Comedy Moment Of The Season: Alain Perrin Does A "Rooney" (3 votes)
That's right! The winner of this award got three votes because there were so many laughable moments of the season! This one was hilarious though, especially coming from a man known for being a disciplinarian. Brian Priske is booked for a foul throw so Perrin sarcastically applauds the fourth official much like Wayne Rooney did not long before that. He doesn't take very kindly to this and then sends Perrin to the stands in what was an unexpected moment from the Frenchman. Still funny though...
The only challengers to this comedy moment with two votes were Perrin's interviews where the quote "we have to fight more" seemed to come up in every post-match interview. Redknapp's return also got a couple of Pompey chuckles to go with the rest of the country laughing at us no doubt. Collins Mbesuma never managed to win his fitness race all season which made people laugh as well as the Benjani chant too. A couple of moments that I think deserve more recognition as comedy moments are Fadiga's awful penalty miss in front of the Fratton End and strangely nobody voted for Peter Crouch missing his penalty against us at Anfield, leaving him still in search of his first goal! The long list in full is below:
Full Results
Alain Perrin Does A "Rooney" (3 votes)
The Benjani Song (2 votes)
Redknapp's Return (2 votes)
Mbesuma's "fitness race" (2 votes)
Perrin's interviews (2 votes)
Nigel Quashie Relegated (again!) (2 votes)
Pamarot's "performance" vs Bolton (1 vote)
Fadiga's skied penalty (1 vote)
Graham Poll stopping game to tie his laces (1 vote)
Stadium Delay (again) (1 vote)
Initial rumours of Sacha's interest in PFC (1 vote)
Milkybar Kid at Gillingham (1 vote)
"Scummer" chants during Liverpool lap of honour (1 vote)
Fat Blackburn fan wins Crossbar Challenge (1 vote)
Lua Lua injuring himself during celebration vs Arsenal (1 vote)
Hughes blatantly taking out Chimbonda to stop Wigan attack (1 vote)
Birmingham Owners whinging a lot (1 vote)
Toddy patting Wenger in "consolation" after FT at Fratton Park (1 vote)
Craig Bellamy whinging (1 vote)
Kevin Kyle Handball (1 vote)
Adebayor misses at Fratton Park (1 vote)
"All the players are behind Alain Perrin" statement (1 vote)
Best Opposition Team: Arsenal (11 votes)
Arsenal tore us apart at Highbury with some breathtaking football back in December and should have won by more than four goals they were that good. They also played well at Fratton Park and would have won there too had Adebayor took one of his many chances, but that isn't taking anything away from how well we played that night.
Chelsea are a close second, beating us efficiently again over two games without conceding with some brilliant individual performances during both games although as a team, Chelsea were nothing special at their place this season. Manchester United take third place for coasting to two victories against us this season. No giant killing this time around I'm afraid.
Full Results
Arsenal (11 votes)
Chelsea (10 votes)
Manchester United (6 votes)
Liverpool (5 votes)
Worst Opposition Team: Sunderland (12 votes)
Not suprising really is it? The worst ever team to grace the top flight of English football managed to blow 1-0 leads over us in both games and somehow turned them into defeats. Say no more about this shite team who also wear red and white stripes.
West Brom get the dubious honour of finishing runner up to Sunderland having been lucky to beat us at The Hawthorns (thanks to Westerveld blunder, nailed on penalty being denied and Skippy's miss) they were also pretty bad at Fratton Park too and deserve to be relegated. Though I'm not sure if fans voted for the Baggies out of hate for a certain Scottish "international". Third place was a three way tie between Fulham who we doubled, Bolton who play awful hoofball but still managed to beat us and Aston Villa who were just as bad as us when we played them.
Full Results
Sunderland (12 votes)
West Brom (6 votes)
Aston Villa (3 votes)
Fulham (3 votes)
Bolton (3 votes)
Birmingham (2 votes)
Everton (1 vote)
Blackburn (1 vote)
Best Opposition Player: TIE - Theirry Henry/Steven Gerrard (8 votes each)
Couldn't seperate arguably the two best players in the Premiership. Theirry Henry took us apart at Highbury and also scored at Fratton Park whilst Gerrard pulled the strings all three times we played Liverpool.
There was a three way tie for the runners up spot too. My vote went to Shay Given because he wouldn't let anything in during both games, mainly the home game where we battered the Newcastle goal. Christiano Ronaldo also scored twice in the home game against us as well as making United more potent in the game at Old Trafford. Finally Craig Bellamy single handedly gave Blackburn a share of the points at Fratton Park. There were also a few votes for Kevin Kyle too, for his generous handball against us! Thanks Kev!
Full Results
Theirry Henry (8 votes)
Steven Gerrard (8 votes)
Shay Given (4 votes)
Christiano Ronaldo (4 votes)
Craig Bellamy (4 votes)
Kevin Kyle (3 votes)
Joe Cole (3 votes)
Worst Opposition Player: TIE - Kevin Kyle/Paul Dickov (5 votes each)
Kevin Kyle probably won his votes alone for the stupid handball he gave away against us at Fratton Park to gift us a victory against Sunderland. Paul Dickov did manage to score past us, although Westerveld was in goal so that isn't really an achievement is it? Apart from that all he did was gob off to the referee at Fratton Park and foul a few players, pretty much the norm for him.
There is a four way tie for the runners up spot with Robbie Savage, Jon Stead, Emile Heskey and Stelios getting two votes each. My personal vote went to Michael Gray of Blackburn. Premiership full back? Not a chance!
Full Results
Kevin Kyle (5 votes)
Paul Dickov (5 votes)
Robbie Savage (2 votes)
Jon Stead (2 votes)
Emile Heskey (2 votes)
Stelios (2 votes)
Michael Gray (1 vote)
Jean-Alain Boumsong (1 vote)
Aaron Mokoena (1 vote)
Emmanuel Adebayor (1 vote)
Zat Knight (1 vote)
Jonathan Greening (1 vote)
Joe Cole (1 vote)
Asier Del Horno (1 vote)
Michael Brown (1 vote)
Lucas Neill (1 vote)
Didier Drogba (1 vote)
Best Away Fans At Fratton Park: Sunderland (14 votes)
Admirable support for such a dire side. Mackems still got behind their team and had a good time at Fratton Park... until the 88th minute of course! The loud scousers from Liverpool and the red mancs get second and third respectively.
Full Results
Sunderland (14 votes)
Liverpool (5 votes)
Man United (3 votes)
Newcastle (2 votes)
West Ham (1 vote)
That's your lot for this season!