Stadium of Delight

Ladies and gentleman, today must've been the single most un-Portsmouth like victory I have ever witnessed. Now admittedly I haven't been around for too long; I haven't got the thousands of games under my belt that many others haven't but even so I know how we work. In fact, what summed it up best of all was our start to the game - conceding a penalty within ten minutes, and that after one of our players decided he couldn't be bothered to even grace us with his presence on the bench (although more about that later).

But let's just reflect.

How often do we come from behind to win? Even from one goal down to winning 2-1? And how often do we recover from one goal down to win 4-1? Away from home? And how often do we benefit from defensive blunders? And how often do we score outstanding wonder goals? I'm guessing that we've used up our entire luck for the season because I've never known so many great things to happen during the course of one match.

In fact not even one match, but one half, because the first forty-five was typical bottom of the league Premiership stuff with neither side really doing much of interest or creating much. Indeed, Dean Whitehead could've put the game out of sight with a stinger of a volley about quarter of an hour in, and it would be a lie to say that anyone in blue was playing especially well. In fact I couldn't even see it turning round in the second half; the players trotted out early, were staring at the floor, not really looking at each other and seemed a bit disinterested. Negative body language across the pitch and the concern that our goalscoring record was hardly supreme. I can only presume that this seeming lack of effort was more to do with pure fear after what must've been a terrifying half time team talk to turn a game round in such a fashion and yet without changing the formation or making substitutions until later on.

But there's one particular moment I want to focus on, a truly bizarre passage of play. Dario Silva goes down and we all cry for a free kick, but there's nothing doing. We cry for Sunderland to put it out, but they don't. We think Vignal or Hughes is gong to put it out, but they don't. And then Taylor spanks it into the back of the net with such ridiculous power from 45 yards that for a second, I couldn't believe what I had seen. If I hadn't been there and witnessed the event with my own eyes I would've just laughed in your face at such an idea. What was Matty even thinking to have a go from there? What right did he have to give the ball such a twatting from such a distance? Or, to give you the view from the average "man in the stand" when that particular shot had just gone in; "F*CKING HELL! CHRIST! DID YOU SEE THAT! WHAT THE... OH... WHAT A ..... (inaudible delirious laughter)".

Oh, happy days. Still, Imagine if Wayne Rooney had scored that goal. Would we ever hear the end of it? Matt's strike was five, perhaps even ten times better than the one the Fat Ugly Scouser got against Newcastle last season - yes, the one the press constantly bang on about - but guaranteed by this time next week Taylor's goal will be forgotten. Apart from by me, because I thought it was great and intend to bore everyone I meet for the next few days with the story of it.

And of course that wasn't Matty's only contribution; he scored another and set up another two. Just a quiet day at the office then. And not at all bad for little old Pompey, those vicious bastards hated by the PFA and FIFA because we don't like English players (like Taylor, O'Neil, Ashdown or Griffin) and only like foreign nobodies (like Vukic, the "worst player in Premiership history"... who also scored today, of course).

So hang on a second. Taylor played a part in four goals today. And a frequent stat I've bandied about on this site is that Laurent Robert had played a part in four of our seven goals before today and so, no matter how much of a knob he may seem to be, we could never realistically drop him. Still, full marks to Alain Perrin, he decided we couldn't take the risk today so stuck him on the bench - so Laurent stormed off and when he returned was mysteriously "injured", leaving us with only four players as subs to play with. Considering how he is skating on thin ice with a fair few Pompey fans to begin with, I don't think he's just made his wisest career move. In fact I'd dare say he'll never play for us again. What sort of a message would it send out - "Whinge, throw your toys out of the pram, whinge a bit more and then you can still get back in the squad next week"? Like anyone else he has to earn the right to play, and with Perrin's notorious harsh discipline it's a long road back.

(Although a special well done to whoever it was who put him on eBay, because that's both witty AND original. Oh wait. No it isn't).

Still, I'm not going to let something like that distract from a ridiculous day of football. Yeah, Sunderland were absolute rubbish and rarely threatened after we went a goal ahead but I'm not going to let that ruin things for me; time to bask in the glory of a stupidly long trip that really was worthwhile. I've said this season that we only need to take our chances and we'll be fine - today we had five shots and scored four, Sunderland had twelve shots and scored one. Speaks volumes and now we've got a very, very handy confidence boost heading into next week. Me? I'm going to watch that Matt Taylor goal on constant repeat.