The breakthrough came midway through the opening half. Although Pompey had had most of the possession the only real moment of interest had come when West Ham's keeper, James Walker, caught the ball outside the area - earning a booking for his troubles. Kevin Harper, fresh back from Leicester, whipped in a cross which was deflected on the way. Keene stooped and made sure with his head from six yards.
Ten minutes later, Keene was on the mark again. This time, set up by Chris Clark outside the area, he tried a cheeky lob over the keeper. As well as getting it spot on and nestling in the back of the net, he even managed to get in the oh-so-satisfying "dink" off the crossbar on the way in. Perfect!
The goalscoring hadn't stopped there. Running through into the area, Keene appeared to slightly over-run the ball. Even so, a visting defender decided to scythe him down for good measure. There was no real choice for the referee but to point to the spot, and a chance for Keene to round off his hat trick. The man in black wasn't the most popular figure amongst the West Ham players; indeed, he certainly seemed to give quite a few debatable free kicks to us but - to be completely honest - it's only a reserve match so it doesn't really matter.
Needless to say, Keene took his chance from twelve yards and the two sides went in at half time with a vast gulf in scoreline and class. The visitors came into the game slightly more in the second half, although without really creating a clear cut chance to trouble Jamie Ashdown - no doubt replacing Andrea Guatelli so as to get some action before facing Leeds on Tuesday. Pompey took their foot off the gas as might well be expected, although Keene still found time to draw a fine save out of Walker. From the resulting corner, a Hammers defender nearly buried the head in his own net - but the scoreline remained at three goals to nil. Bloody lower league amateurs!