The former, Nigerian striker Yakubu, is reported on Sky Sports News to be having a medical for a sensational move to Middlesbrough in a deal worth £7m or so. We interviewed one Portsmouth fan who has spent the last six months living under a rock. "I can't believe it," he said, "I don't know how they've kept this deal so quiet. A player like Yakubu as well! Keen as mustard and trying up until the last minute. He certainly pulled the wool over my eyes".
Patrik Berger, on the other hand, is believed to be joining Aston Villa on a two year £27,000-per-week contract. A fantastically talented player and naturally gifted, not to mention scorer of fantastic goals, but unfortunately he's only played well about three times this season. We caught up with a Villa fan who has been living in a cave with his fingers in his ears; "Unbelievable really. How we kept this one so quiet I'll never know - it's nice to know we're after up-and-coming youngsters rather than being a soft touch for those just looking for a big final payday."
Thanks to both Yak and Paddy for a lot of great memories and performances in their time here, although sadly both will be remembered as much for the pitiful whimper that became of their Portsmouth careers as much as the good times.